More Wire-tapped Poroshenko Biden Conversations – Part II

Dear Readers:

The Poroshenko-Biden wiretap story took an amusing turn as laid out in this piece, by reporter Nikolai Storozhenko.  Russians and Ukrainians, plus those who follow this whole language issue, will get why this story is so funny.  Or maybe, not so much funny, as ironic.

Recall that Ukrainian politician and Rada Deputy Andrei Derkach dug up some incriminating evidence against ex-President Poroshenko, in the form of wiretapped telephone conversations (in 2016) with then Vice President Joe Biden.  The evidence was turned over to the Ukrainian Investigative Committee (IC), led by Prosecutor General Irina Venediktova.  The charge of the IC is to figure out (1) where the tape came from, (2) if it is authentic, and (3) if so, then how many crimes did Poroshenko commit in the space of these conversations?  The IC kept calling Poroshenko into questioning, and he kept evading them, for weeks and months, until they just ran out of patience with him.

Venediktova: “That man will not return my calls!”

And then finally he showed up, and the hilarity began…  But first a quick paragraph of exposition for those not familiar with the political backstory.  So, in a nutshell…  The former Ukrainian regime of Poroshenko was in very tight with the Obama Administration, and also interfered rather blatantly in the 2016 election, throwing their support to Hillary Clinton.  When Trump won (to everyone’s astonishment), the Ukrainians found themselves on the wrong side of history.  New Ukrainian Prez Zelensky has sought to mend fences and curry favor with the Trump regime.  Nobody in their right mind doubts, that Trump is applying pressure on the Ukrainian government to dig up more and more dirt on Biden.  Hence the recent maneuvers, and the leaking of the taped conversation.

So, now back to the fun part:  What happened when ex-Prez Poroshenko finally showed up, after procrastinating for almost a whole YEAR and wasting everybody’s time?  For months he refused to show up to defend himself, and even just spat on the entire process.  Eventually the IC lost patience and presented their first real charge against the ex-President.  Apparently they have no less than TWENTY active cases against him!  This first case is not even their best shot.  It’s a relatively minor case involving Poroshenko’s appointment of a man named Sergei Semochko, to head the Ukrainian Foreign Intelligence Service (СВР).  Apparently Semochko is suspected of corruption, but who cares?  This story isn’t about him.

Sergei Semochko

But maybe something about the Semochko case finally got Poroshenko’s attention.  It rattled him so much that he decided to bring reinforcements.  So, earlier this month, on June 10, late in the evening, Poroshenko appeared in the offices of the General Prosecutor, accompanied by a group of  supporters.  These masked men [little joke there], just bust into Venediktova’s office and threatened her.  (Or, as she put it, “attempted to apply pressure”.)  According to some eye-witnesses, people at the meeting were astonished to see that Poroshenko had lost a lot of weight in the past year.  Which he needed to do, because this behemoth used to have a huge body  and massive fleshy hands like pigs trotters.

According to other eye-witnesses, the now-svelte Poroshenko initially laid into Venediktova with a stream of Surzhik, the national dialect of the Ukraine (which Ukrainian patriots consider to be the Holy of Holies).  But then, the more agitated he got, he suddenly switched into pure standard Russian as can be seen in this Smartphone recording of the event.

Why Language Is Important

The rest of the article explains why this incident is more than just a curiosity, since Poroshenko had quite a lot to do with the criminalizing of the Russian language in the Ukraine.  (The reporter lists a series of anti-Russian language laws that were passed during his regime.)

The reporter then traces Poroshenko’s roots:  They are indeed an old Russian family, with roots (that can be traced back to 1835) in the geographical areas of Bessarabia and Novorossiya.  Poroshenko’s ancestors were classified as “Little Russian petty-bourgeois” (малороссийские мещане), and some explanation is required here:

There is still confusion among some under-educated people, about the terms “Great Russia” (referring to Russia proper) and “Little Russia” (referring to Ukraine and Belorussia).  These terms, historically, do not denote superiority or inferiority.  In fact, quite the opposite.  These terms are calques from the Greek magna- and micro- as in “Greater Greece” (Magna Graecia), namely the islands and colonies; vs “Micro Greece”, as in the core, the heart of the homeland.  You will see those terms employed in relation to other geographical entities, for example Micronesia.  Or, in English as “Greater”, as in “the Greater Boston area”, etc.  The equivalent Russian words are “great” (veliky) and “small” (malo).  Historically, “Little Russia” (“MaloRossiya”) refers to the core of the historical Rus, which was around the area of Kiev.  Hence, MaloRossiya is and was the heartland of the Russian people, and Russia proper came to be known as “The Greater Russia”, or Velikaya Rus by Ivan Grozny times.

And also immortalized in the Soviet anthem, that stanza about “an indestructible union of free republics was put together by Great Russia“, is not really flattering Russia by calling it “Great”, just stating a geographical and historical fact.  Should probably be translated as “Greater Russia“, in fact.

Poroshenko family auditions for a new series of “The Godfather”

So, back to the Poroshenko family.  They were of the petty-bourgeois class native to Little Russia; whose people have ALWAYS regarded themselves as Russians.  Until the time came when they were told they were Ukrainians.  And that Russians are evil.

Poroshenko himself has always gotten a lot of flak from the Ukrainian nationalists, due to his Russian-speaking children and their apparent obliviousness to the notion that all Russians are vile and inferior creatures.  Elder son Alexei, who was once spotted wearing a “Russia” football shirt, married a Russian girl from St. Petersburg.  Despite clothing his offspring in embroidered blouses, Poroshenko Père has never been able to completely hide the fact that this is a Russian family, which speaks Russian at home, as their domestic means of communication.  Here is a Poroshenko stump speech from April of last year, addressed to the Russian speaking people of Eastern Ukraine, when he was on the campaign trail and losing badly to the clown Zelensky:

“Nobody is going to take away your right to speak Russian.  I am a Russian speaker myself, I have said this many times, that for me it is absolutely natural to speak in Russian.  In fact, I don’t want anyone to have any illusions:  Prior to 1997 I couldn’t speak a word of Ukrainian.”

This confession did not help Poroshenko win the election.  But explains why he naturally falls back on his mother tongue, when under duress.  The reporter only laments that Vendiktova did not have the presence of mind to scold him like a schoolteacher: «Українською, будь ласка!»

[THE END]