Well, Lordie, you could have knocked me over with a feather when I saw this piece in CNN:
Did propaganda-spewing fake journalist Nick Robertson not get the memo that “Reality” was supposed to work the other way around? Ukrainians are supposed to be fleeing FROM the Russians, not TOWARDS the Russians. After all, the Ukrainian government and soldiers are sweet and perfect, they ride on unicorns while rainbows shoot out of their asses. Whereas the Russians are brutal and mean, they kill people just for the fun of it. Nobody would want to turn the headlights of their cars in that direction. Well, maybe somebody switched the arrows around on the street signs? Or all these people are just directionally-challenged, driving South when they should be driving North. That’s something I would do, for example, because I have a sort of reverse compass in my head.
Readers will recall that the Russian press already covered this story (about the “Zaporozhie Gateway”) over a week ago; and even I wrote a post about it, so none of this is news to the Russophile community.
Better late than never, but the true mystery here is why Westie MSM even decided to tell the story. Conspiracy theorists posit that West is getting sick of Zelensky’s B.S. and gave the green light to their media, to start emitting some tiny particles of truth. Sort of, to start preparing Westie public psychologically, for the eventual, predestined defeat. I don’t know if that theory is true or not.
To be sure, as if not to disappoint, Nick sprinkles in some lies. For example, (a) most of the people are not fleeing from the Ukraine, they’re just taking a side-trip to pick up some relatives and take them back to the Promised Land (while loading up their cars with all their stuff, and kids, and cats as well); or (b) the reason the traffic is so one-sided is because the Russian soldiers won’t let people out again. In other words, Russian-occupied Zaporozhie is like a roach motel: You can get in, but you can’t get back out. This is contradicted by the stated fact that a small number of cars were actually seen going in the other direction.
If you watch this video on youtube itself, be sure to read the comments as well, a lot of pro-Russians flocked to the comment section, as you can imagine, where they have a field day debunking the lies and half-truths.
The Little Counter-Offensive That Couldn’t
Next on the agenda: the vaunted Kherson counter-offensive has been called off. It was either yesterday, or the day before yesterday, the Ukrainians suddenly started going, “Ha ha! We were just kidding!”
Turns out, it was just a cunning plan to bluff the Russians into moving battalions and artillery from the Donbass Front to the Southern Front. It that were so, then twere a lemon-lemonade kind of thing, since the Russians really need to have more forces on both fronts anyhow. (In my humble opinion as an Armchair General.) This repositioning allows the Russians to move on Nikolaev whilst also attacking Soledar.
Although, if this was just a bluff, then why not continue with the bluff? Why even announce that it was a bluff? Unless it’s a double-bluff! The Chief Bluffer here is Mikhail Podolyak, one of the tightest members of Zelensky’s ever-shrinking inner circle. He is said to be Zelensky’s right hand, with Andrey Yermak as the left hand. Yermak is the one whom American Congresswoman Victoria Spartz accused of being a Russian spy, and also Zelensky’s “homosexual lover”. That second charge is quite unbelievable, because if you look at photos of Podolyak and Yermak, Podolyak is definitely the cuter of the two. (I mean, in a rugged sort of way.) Whereas Yermak is just an ugly beast, pure and simple.
Be that as it may, it was fun to watch Alexei Arestovich on his youtube channel yesterday, performing his usual smooth contortions and glib word games. After bragging about the Kherson counter-offensive for weeks, and thus bolstering the members of his cult, he now had to snap to the Party Line and reassure his doting fants that it was all just a glorious bluff; and all for the greater good. Evil gossips claim that Arestovich, despite his exalted title as “Special Advisor to the President”, is not actually a member of Zelensky’s inner circle. Any more. If he ever was. Like I said before, Podolyak is the right hand, and Yermak is the left hand. Although! When Zelensky had Hollywood actress Jessica Chastain over to visit in his Kiev bunker, it is said that the “closed session meeting” involved only her, Zelensky, and Yermak. Podolyak either was not invited to the orgy, or opted out.
Now you see why I posted this entry under the WordPress Tag “Celebrity Gossip” !
Speaking of Arestovich, I will end this gossipy piece with a joke. But first I have to explain too much, because there is an elaborate set-up.
The story involves this grainy video featuring still another of Zelensky’s “childhood friends”, this one a guy named Evgeny Koshevoi. Well, maybe not a childhood friend, but still going quite far back, to their days in the comedy club circuit. Koshevoi, like Zelensky, still works as a professional comedian; and this video shows him doing his stand-up shtik for an audience of Ukrainian servicemen. This particular joke could have been really funny; but, in his nervousness and haste, he doesn’t set it up properly and messes up the punchline.
The set-up: There is a standard Russian joke involving fairy tale characters; the first two pairs are always the same. The third pair is the variable, with the punchline ending on the name of whichever person one is making fun of at the time. For example, in this case the target of the joke is the Russian boxer Nikolai Valuev, who is as ugly as he is strong. So he is compared with Shrek:
Three friends set out on a journey to visit the Home of Truth, wherein is housed the Mirror of Truth. While walking along, they brag about their perfection: Snow White: “I am the most beautiful woman in the world.” Thumbelina: “I am the tiniest person in the world.” Shrek: “I am the strongest and also the ugliest man in the world.” They reach the House of Truth and go inside, one by one. Snow White rushes out a moment later, sobbing: “The Mirror told me there is a person named Sleeping Beauty, who is more beautiful than me!” Next goes Thumbelina, who also rushes out a moment later, drenched in her own tears: “The Mirror told me there is this boy named Tom Thumb, who is tinier than me!” Last in goes Shrek. Who exits a minute later, roaring with anger: “Who the f*** is Nikolai Valuev?”
You understand the pattern, right? The first two pairs are constant to these characters; the third pair is the variable. So, Koshevoi decides to tell this same joke to the soldiers, with his “third variable” being to make fun of Alexei Arestovich. Which is risky, because he could get in trouble for this. Does Arestovich have the power to arrest people? Who knows. In any case, Koshevoi’s punchline is, “Who the f*** is Alexei Arestovich?”
The soldiers chuckle politely, but I don’t think they got the joke, because it wasn’t told well. For starters, Koshevoi rushes through it nervously. Secondly, he doesn’t set up the third fairy tale character at all; just nervously mumbles something about Врунишка (“Vrunishka”). Who is not an actual fairy tale character. It’s just a Russian word that means “Little Liar”. Perhaps he should have used Pinocchio instead? Which would be apt, because some of Alexei’s fans claim they can tell when he is lying: He pinches or rubs his nose. Others say they can tell when he is lying, because he opens his mouth and starts to talk.