Ukraine War Day #58: The Money Pit

Dear Readers:

Firstly: For those of my Orthodox Christian readers (if any), I congratulate you on today’s holiday of Orthodox Good Friday. If I am not mistaken, this is the day when Jesus is hanging up there on the cross, and then on Sunday He will rise from the dead. So peace be unto all of you.

But returning to the real world: Ukrainian President Volodimir Zelensky is sort of hanging on his own cross today. (How’s that for a segue?) A cross of gold. Or a cross of money. Or the lack thereof.

A Black Hole where money goes in, but never emerges again.

Now, Zel himself is a very wealthy man. He made his first million legitimately, with his work in the entertainment industry. After he was elected Prez he did what every other Ukrainian President did in the nation’s short history: He went nuts and just enriched himself egregiously, by stealing everything that wasn’t nailed down. It is said that Zel’s name appeared in the Panama Papers as one who is particularly corrupt; and that he owns very valuable real estate in Florida. Why did he need all that money when he was already rich and successful? Who can peer into a man’s soul? Frankly, he reminds me of the character Ganya in Dostoevsky’s novel The Idiot. Ganya had everything that a man could want, but he only craved money.

Ganya: “Ah needs me mo’ money!”

Zelensky may be very rich, but the Ukraine is very poor. I have this piece by reporter Natalia Onufrieya: Like the Eternal Jew that he is, Zelensky has gone schnorring once again to the International Monetary Fund. He demands $550 billion dollars to rebuild his country. He suggests that the IMF hand over into his paws all the money they stole from Russia when they froze the latter’s assets.

A couple of days ago I read that Zel was demanding $8 billion per month, but they apparently knocked him down, so now he is “only” wanting $7 billion per month. Zel’s second-banana, Prime Minister Denis Shmygal chimed in, fussing that his country’s GNP could drop as much as 50% in 2022. Shmygal estimates that they need $600 billion to restore the country after all the destruction caused by Russia.

Meanwhile Ukraine’s Minister of Justice, Denis Maliuska, told Reuters that he hopes Western countries will take all the money they stole from Russia (via “frozen assets”) and send them directly into Kiev’s coffers. “But this will require a level of courage and political will…” [I can finish his sentence: “that they will never possess, due to their own greed.”]

[ Here insert meme of pirates fighting each other over a treasure chest full of loot.]

Meanwhile, the World Bank more cynically lowballs Ukraine’s war destruction expenses, to the tune of $60 billion. Which is much less by a factor of [you do the math].

In conclusion: One does not need to travel far into outer space to explore black holes. There is a giant one, right there in the center of Europe!