Name Russian Super-Weapon After Givi!

Dear Readers:

I saw this piece in the Russian press today.  Everybody knows that Russia is developing a new super-weapon to counter Anti-Missile Defense systems that the Americans are unfolding in Eastern Europe and along Russia’s border.  Humans are tired of this boring old life, Mutual Deterrence is dead, Viva the Arms Race!

General Ripper hopes to achieve First-Strike capability

The American people, under the glorious leadership of General Jack D. Ripper, hope to neutralize Russian missile defenses in order to achieve first-strike capability – Woooo!  Ant-like Russians respond in their typical way by building THE DOOMSDAY MACHINE, something involving ultra-sound.  If you want more details about the new weapon, then I suggest you check out military-type blogs, because I don’t know very much about military hardware.  My story is more about the human side of mass destruction and the annihilation of the human race – putting a human face to a doomsday machine.  In the end there will be catharsis and reunited families.

Reality check: Folks, NATO pretty much has Russia surrounded!

So, yesterday (March 1) Russian President Putin, in his annual address to the Federal Assembly (the 2 houses of Parliament) — in American terms this would be like addressing the Congress and Senate together — announced that Russia is building a “Strategic Rocket Complex with an ultra-sound winged block” — whatever that is! — to counter the American anti-missile complex.  Putin claims that the new weapons cannot be intercepted by American Anti-Air, hence they would survive the Pindostan First Strike (PFS), and be able to retaliate with full-on nukes.  Pretty cool, no?

Russian Ambassador shows off new Doomsday Machine

As you could guess, Westie press is all over this “supersonic Russian threat”, but portraying it as an aggressive move rather than defensive.  But again, that’s not what my story is about.

In the course of announcing the new weapon, Putin remarked that the Russian military still has not thought of a name for the weapon.  It goes without saying that the name should be something cool.  He mentioned there could be an online competition set up for people to suggest names.  This sort of thing is done even in “normal” countries.  For example in England, the most normal country in the world, online voters chose the name Boaty McBoatface for a scientific research ship operated by the British navy.

Would Russians decide on something like “Nukey McNukeFace” for the new rocket system?  Probably not.  In any case, Putin’s advisor Surkov (who himself has a really cool Slavic first name — Vladislav) has suggested something much better.   Surkov has suggested naming the new system Givi, after the Donetsk Peoples Republic Separatist Commander who was assassinated one year ago.  “There is such a hero…” Surkov mused.

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8 Responses to Name Russian Super-Weapon After Givi!

  1. Lyttenburgh says:

    “Putin remarked that the Russian military still has not thought of a name for the weapon. It goes without saying that the name should be something cool.”

    I’m more worried about a would be name for the nuke-armed naval drone. Some people are already suggesting “Рыбка”, which given the last months expose might be… eh?

    P.S. You’ve heard about Nastya Rybka, Deribaska, his yacht and stuff, yalensis, haven’t you?

    Like

    • yalensis says:

      I only vaguely heard about Rybka! (something in the gossip columns?)

      Like

      • Lyttenburgh says:

        A self-described sex expert says she will spill information on Trump and Russia to get out of a Thai jail

        “MOSCOW — A self-described sex expert whose videos highlighted the ties between one of Russia’s richest men and the Kremlin has been jailed in Thailand and is calling for U.S. help, claiming she has information about links between Russia and President Trump.

        Anastasia Vashukevich, an escort service worker from Belarus who catapulted to a certain measure of fame after filming a yacht trip with Russian billionaire Oleg Deripaska and Deputy Prime Minister Sergei Prikhodko, was detained in Thailand over the weekend in a police raid on her “sex training” seminar. While still in custody Tuesday, she published Instagram videos asking U.S. journalists and intelligence agencies to help her.

        Deripaska, with whom Vashukevich said she had an affair, used to employ former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort. But Vashukevich, better known by the alias Nastya Rybka, provided no evidence Tuesday to back up the claim that she had new information to offer related to the investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 U.S. presidential election. A post to her Instagram account showed her sitting on the floor of what was described as a Thai jail cell and said she was sick.”

        […]

        “Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny made Vashukevich famous last month after he broadcast old footage from her Instagram account showing an August 2016 yacht trip with Deripaska and Prikhodko. Navalny used the footage to allege that Deripaska, a metals magnate, had bribed Prikhodko, one of Russia’s most influential government officials, with the luxury getaway accompanied by women from an escort service.”

        See? Navalny managed to jail not only his own brother and former patron Nikita Balykh – now he will jail Lil’ Fishy as well!

        Like

        • yalensis says:

          Oh! So that’s what that “Nasty Fishy” story was all about.
          Oh yeah, I remember now that Deripaska has been called an Aluminum Magnate.
          It goes without saying that he provided both aluminum foil and sex slaves to Donald Trump. Probably wrapped the girls up in foil and just handed ’em over.
          Saran wrap is better, but he just happened to have a roll of foil.

          Inquiring minds also claim that Deripaska was the guy who made the aluminum tubes that Saddam Hussein used to build his nukes. And “Nasty” provided the yellow-cake.
          Or something like that…

          Like

  2. Lyttenburgh says:

    As for the missile – either “Boris Nemtsov” (he like to fly to the US so much!) or “Brat-2”

    Like

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