Ukraine War Day #197: Freeze, Freeze, Tail of the Wolf!

Dear Readers:

El Zorro, the Cunning Fox

Putin: Freeze your tails off!

Russian President Vladimir Putin is famous for his verbal barbs. Many of his “winged sayings” are based on familiar Russian proverbs, or are quotes from Russian literature. Putin’s usual purpose is to dish an insult in an Aesopian manner. Which is the case with his latest literary sortie. Speaking at the Eastern Economic Forum, Putin let loose on the idiocy of European energy politics, by uttering this very piquant quote from a Russian fairy tale: “Freeze, freeze, tail of the wolf”! (Мерзни, мерзни, волчий хвост!) For decades Russia has subsidized and supported European economic growth by supplying abundant gas and oil at reasonable prices. European ingrates repaid this favor with white-hot hatred, insults, discrimination, and sanctions.

In a rare case of just karma, these sanctions have boomeranged back on the perps, making them weaker while ironically making Russia stronger than ever. Which is why the very last line of the fairy tale (if you read my translation below) is actually more pertinent even than that bit about the frozen tail.

Is Russia The Cunning Fox?

This particular fairy tale which Putin quoted, is called “Brother Wolf and Sister Fox”, and is intended for very young children. (Being the cruel little sociopaths that they are.) There are many different versions of this story. One version just ends with the frozen tail of the wolf; but other versions continue on with even more madcap adventures, as the fox continues to torment the befuddled wolf.

The story is set against the background of the timeless culture of Russian peasant life; it follows several of the memes in the repertory: the well-meaning but bewildered old man, the sharp-tongued wife, a crafty animal opponent. As in many peasant stories, the female [human or animal] is smarter and more assertive than the male. This story contrasts the thick-skulled stupidity of Brother Wolf with the nimble intelligence of Sister Fox. Which is why Putin’s quote is not 100% apropos to the Europeans, since the wolf (in this story) is actually a pretty nice guy, a dumb palooka. He is good-natured and gullible, which makes him an easy victim of the cunning fox. The fox is smart, greedy, mischievous bordering on cruel; and criminal-minded. She manipulates everything and everyone to get what she needs; she sometimes likes to harm other creatures just for the fun of it. Hence, if Putin is comparing Russia to the Fox, then I would have to say it’s not a flattering comparison.

On the other hand, the Spanish word for fox is “Zorro”, and Zorro makes the sign of the Z, which is also the call-sign of the Russian Special Operation. Coincidence? Perhaps not! Although (once again, I quibble, because my mind is never at rest), Señor Zorro was a fighter for the peons (against the abuses of the Spanish landed aristocracy) and used his famous cunning in the service of the people. Whereas, the cunning fox in this story… well, you’ll see.

It’s Story Time, Gather Round, Psychopaths…

Grandpa harnesses the horse to pull the sled.

So, the story goes something like this (in my own English translation):

Once upon a time there lived Old Grandpa and Old Grandma. One winter day, Grandpa says to Grandma: “You, Wife, go bake some pierogies, I’ll harness the horse and take the sled out to catch some fish.”

Grandpa catches a whole sled-full of fish. While walking home, leading the horse, he stops and sees: A little fox is lying in the road, completely still and in a fetal position.

Grandpa approaches carefully, the little fox doesn’t move a hair, just lies there like a corpse. “What a wonderful find! This will make a fine fur collar for my old lady’s coat.”

He picks up the fox, lays it down in the sled, walks ahead with the horse, never looking back…

Then the fox finds the right time to start quietly tossing all the fish out of the sled, one by one. She ends up tossing out all the fish and then quietly jumps out herself.

Grandpa arrives home and calls his wife: “See, old lady, I brought you a wonderful fur collar for your coat.” Grandma walks up to the sled and sees: there is no fur collar, nor is there any fish. And right away she starts to scold the old man: “You old fool, why are you trying to deceive me?”

And here Grandpa guesses, that the fox was not quite dead. He kicks himself, but what can he do? Meanwhile, back on the road, the fox has succeeded in gathering up all the fish, she piles all the fish into a heap on the side of the road, sits beside it, and starts to feast.

A wolf approaches her. “Greetings, Cousin, bread and salt.”

“Go away, I’m eating. This is my fish, so stand further away.”

“Give me some fish.”

“No. Go catch your own.”

“But I don’t know how,” the wolf whines.

“Sheesh! All right, Cousin, I’ll tell you the secret. Go down to the river, cut a hole in the ice, stick your tail in the hole, then sit there and wait. You have to pronounce the magic words: Come, fish, both great and small, come to me, fish, both great and small! After you pronounce these words, the fish will swim up and latch onto your tail. The longer you sit there, the more fish you will catch.”

The wolf goes down to the river, cuts a hole in the ice, lowers his tail into the hole, sits and chants: “Come fish, both great and small…” Meanwhile the fox strolls around the wolf and chants her own spell: “Shine, shine, stars in the sky. Freeze, freeze, tail of the wolf!”

The wolf asks the fox: “What you are murmuring there, Cousin?”

“Oh nothing, I’m just helping you, I’m chasing the fish onto your tail.” And she again: “Shine, shine, stars in the sky. Freeze, freeze, tail of the wolf!”

The wolf sits on the ice all night long. His tail freezes in the ice-hole. Towards the morning he tries to stand up, but he can’t move. And he thinks to himself: “Wow, I wonder how many fish I caught — so many I can’t even lift them up.”

At that moment a peasant woman comes by, carrying two empty pails on a wooden yoke. She spots the wolf and shrieks: “A wolf, a wolf! Beat him up!”

The wolf struggles to get away, but he can’t pull his tail lose. The peasant woman tosses the buckets away and starts to beat the wolf with the yoke. She beats him, beats him, the wolf finally breaks loose and runs away, leaving his tail behind.

“Very well,” he thinks. “I’ll get even with you, Cousin!”

Meanwhile, the fox has sneaked into the hut of the peasant woman, and helped herself to a bowl of dough. With her head all smeared in dough she dashes out onto the road, but, blinded, slips and falls, lies on the road, groaning in pain.

The wolf sees her lying there: “So, that’s how you teach me to catch fish. Just look at me: I am all beaten up.”

The fox replies to him: “Hey, Cousin! You lost your tail, but at least you still have your head. Look at me, my brains came out, all over my face. I can barely move.”

“I can see your plight,” the wolf replies compassionately. “Where do you need to go, Cousin? Sit on my back, I’ll take you wherever you need to go.”

The fox crawls onto the wolf’s back, and he starts to carry her.

And so the fox rides along on the back of the wolf, and sings quietly to herself:

“The unbeaten rides the beaten.”

“What is that you are singing, Cousin?”

“Oh nothing, Cousin. Just chanting a spell to make your hurts go away.”

And then again: “The unbeaten rides the beaten.”

And the moral of the story is: The unbeaten rides on the back of the beaten.