Ukraine War Day #380: Operation Minnow

Dear Readers:

My starting point for today’s post is this article by Vladimir Kornilov. Kornilov in turn reviews this article in the New York Times, which is behind a paywall.

As readers may already be aware, the NYT did a bang-up job of exposing the true perps behind the destruction of the Nordstream pipelines. One of the greatest terrorist acts of this, or any other, century. Well, originally they said “the Russians did it” of course, but later, in response to Seymour Hersh’s expose, they had to change their tune. Or rather, somebody from the CIA’s office called the NYT Editor and dictated the new story. All the other mainstream Westie outlets like the German Die Zeit obediently and with full synchronicity followed suit. That could never happen unless the story was true.

Reporter Vladimir Kornilov. Was not given the full story…

Kornilov: According to these outlets, a group of 6 people (they are even so specific as to denote 5 men and 1 woman) performed the terror act from aboard a leisure yacht. The group was composed of the Captain, two divers, two assistants, and a doctor. Their yacht normally docks in Poland and is registered to a firm owned by two Ukrainian citizens.

So far so good. Police know the exact name and location of the yacht, they know the names and identities of the six perps. For some mysterious reason, Westie reporters have failed to pose the crucial question: “Do you, er, plan to make any arrests?”

Kornilov presents this story in a mockatory manner, almost as if he doesn’t believe it. But in truth, the story is mostly right. Only a few details got mixed up, and a few clarification need to be made. So, here is the real story, as put together by the Awful Avalanche crack team of investigative reporters:

“Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale…”

For starters, we have clarified that the leisure yacht, whose name is Minnow, belongs to an American (not Ukrainian) citizen. His name is Thurston Howell III, and he is a millionaire. He put his team together on a secret island in the Pacific Ocean. Whence it took them almost 3 hours to sail to their staging area in Poland. And their motive was not political at all: Howell was just trying to eliminate a competitor to his own Liquified Natural Gas Company, based in Hawaii.

“Skipper” was hired to lead the team of saboteurs.

Second correction: The team consisted of 7 people, not 6. Of which there were 3 women.

The New York Times had mis-gendered one of the team members, namely “Ginger“, the movie star. NYT photographers had captured her on the deck of the yacht, entertaining her comrades while dressed as a sailor boy and performing the “Honey Bun” production number from South Pacific.

They correctly identified the farm girl, Mary Ann as a girl. And a pretty one at that.

The third woman, Eunice Howell, aka “Lovey” was not noticed at all by the NYT reporters, as she spent most of her time below deck drinking herself into a stupor with lime margaritas.

The terrorists rigged up a powerful bomb.

Anyhow, most of the rest of the story was reported accurately. The Captain of the terror-team was a violent sociopath who yelled at his crew a lot and went by the call-sign Skipper. He had ordered his second-in-command, a vicious criminal named Gilligan, to prepare the explosives for descent to the sea floor. The bomb was to be lowered down on a pulley-type construction rigged up by the team’s technician, a brilliant scientific mastermind known in the criminal underworld only as The Professor. The pulley was expertly crafted from jungle vines and spider-web netting. Unfortunately, Gilligan messed up, as usual, and accidentally dropped the bomb overboard before he was able to set the charge.

Whereupon, The Professor had to rig up a substitute bomb made of coconuts and bamboo shoots. After which, Howell III and his wife “Lovey” donned scuba suits and swam the makeshift bomb down the sea floor. And were able to successfully detonate it, in an apparent suicide mission.

And that’s how the Nordstream Pipeline was actually blown up.

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