Ukraine War Day #132: Who’s Who In The New Kherson Government!

Dear Readers:

To add some humor to this rather dry piece, I quote a comment I saw on one of the pro-Russian blogs: “Looks like Ukraine is getting skinnier, as Russia gets fatter.” Well, that’s one way to put it!

Vladimir (aka Volodimir) Saldo: “Welcome to the Team!”

So I have this piece, by reporter Alexei Degtyarev. The portion of Kherson Oblast which has been “occupied” by Russian forces has been, up to now, run pretty much single-handedly by Vladimir Saldo, head of the Military-Civil Administration. The Big Kahuna, in other words. But now things are changing very quickly, Kherson is preparing itself to become a new Oblast of the Russian Federation, and it’s time to get serious. Saldo tweeted the following on his Telegram-channel: “I, as the Head of the Military-Civil Administration, having absorbed the experience of how governmental organs are formed, in the regions of the Russian Federation, have decided to put together a government of the Kherson Oblast, and to select the best cadres that we can find, both from among the residents of the Kherson region, and also from among Russian professionals and managers.”

Readers are all abuzz: Who are these new people? Who gets which juicy post? Dish it out!

Sergei Eliseev: Aced his exams in Governor School

And the Oscar for New Kahuna is… Sergei Eliseev! He gets to be the new head of the Oblast government – yay! Who is this guy, you might ask? This is the juicy part, my contacts in the celebrity gossip circle aver that Sergei is a former Deputy Head of the Kaliningrad Oblast! He was plucked from the casting couch and dispatched to the famous “Governor’s School” hidden deep in the Russian heartland. Which should not be confused with the “Governess School”, which is where Jane Eyre learned her trade. Wagging tongues claim that Sergei had to pass several tests, including the talent and swimsuit portions, in order to learn how to be a Russian Governor. Insiders dish that graduates from this school now head the majority of the regions of the Russian Federation. Which is a good thing, if you are believer, as I am, in standardized work and product.

But Eliseev brings more to the table than just his academic chops: Coming from Kaliningrad, he has this valuable experience in managing a Russian enclave surrounded by hostile neighbors. Although, to be fair, the Poles and Lithuanians never tried to plant car bombs in his Mercedes. Which is one of the current hazards of serving in former Ukrainian regions.

Alexei Kovalev: Switched sides just in time.

Next in the line-up we have Alexei Kovalev, who will assume the post of Deputy Administrator for Agriculture. Alexei brings his valuable experience of freestyle Parliamentary floor-fighting straight from the Ukrainian Rada, where he served as a Deputy from the “Servant of the People” Party. After the liberation of Kherson by Russian forces, Kovalev decided to remain in his native region and help the new government. For which the Ukrainians accused him of being a collaborator and probably placed a target on his back.

At the beginning of June Kovalev met with Sergei Kirienko, who works in the administration of Russian President Putin. After the meeting Kovalev confirmed that the Kherson farmer class, which he represents, received broad assurances from the Russian Federation. Namely, that they will be integrated into Russia’s economic model. No more scrabbling around the dirt, trying to find customers. These private farmers of the Taurida region stand to benefit greatly by expanding their consumer base, they are guaranteed all the privileges enjoyed by Russian private farmers, such as subsidies, guaranteed contracts, etc.

After Kovalev made these announcements, there was a scare on June 22 when Kiev Nazis claimed they had liquidated this “traitor” in a terrorist act. But later had to retract their claim, and it seems that rumors of Kovalev’s death were premature.

Vladimir Baspalov: Monitors the usual suspects.

Next on the list of new cadres is Vladimir Bespalov, who will assume the post of Deputy of Internal Politics. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds sinister. Bespalov also hales from Kaliningrad, where he occupied a similar post. His duties included policing functions and monitoring protest demonstrations, that sort of thing. So we might imagine that his duties in Kherson will include keeping his eye on the kind of people who want to murder his colleague, Alexei Kovalev.

Mikhail Rodikov: Will get your kids into a good school.

Last but not least, as King Lear muttered while hoisting up the corpse of his favorite daughter, we have a man named Mikhail Rodikov, who gets the job of Minister of Education and Science. Rodikov is a true Varangian, who arrives in Kherson from the Moscow area. However, he has a lot of experience with ex-Ukrainians as well: For three years he headed the Department of Education in Sebastopol. Which bullet point on his resume is probably the main reason he got his current job: Because he gained valuable experience switching the Sebastopol educational system over from Ukrainian to Russian standards. Which is a huge project in and of itself, when you consider the number of textbooks and curricula involved. And this will be his main focus in Kherson as well: He has very little time between now and the start of the new school season, so we’ll leave him alone, and let him get to work.

Saldo is proud of his new team and expects great things from them: “Today the Kherson Oblast and the Russian Federation are gazing in the same direction, we are taking joint decisions regarding our mutual development. A very close integration is taking place, of the Kherson region into the Russian space, and into the Russian paradigm of government. The formation of the new Kherson government has a key significance for understanding the future of this region. We are not talking about cadre reshuffles, nor of rotations, nor even of the renovation of the team. What is forming here is, in principle, a new organ of government, the first government of an independent, non-Ukrainian Kherson Oblast. This is not a temporary government, nor a war-time government, nor some kind of provisional administration, this is a fully-fledged organ of power. And the fact that this government includes not only Kherson residents, but also Russian managers, speaks clearly about the direction of our future Kherson Oblast. Our direction is — into Russia.”

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21 Responses to Ukraine War Day #132: Who’s Who In The New Kherson Government!

  1. peter moritz says:

    I just hope those new teams with seemingly immensely qualified admins get the chance of working undisturbed.
    Unfortunately, the terrorist state of Ukraine seems to have nothing better to do, in line with his fascist ideology, but to impede with terrorist actions what they could not prevent after their defeat, following the disastrous NATO decision to rather let loose the hounds of war than to engage in negotiations of security arrangements.
    Ukraine, by following NATO dictate, has lost unnecessarily, the question remains: how much will be left?
    The whole scenario just does not make any sense, the decisions by NATO were irrational for anyone who read about Russia, her security concerns, history, and military build-up since the early 2000s.
    This leaves me to conclude that western intelligence, which obviously underestimated severely Russian determination and actual power, is dangerous to the extreme for world peace, considering the attempts by politicians, relying on their information, to “break something loose” in the Pacific.

    They might, by breaking something loose, break the world.

    Idiots, all

    Like

  2. Stephen T Johnson says:

    The collective west in general, and the US in particular, are very much in “rule or ruin” mode, Their malice, spite and cruelty are only mitigated by their hubris and incompetence.
    The governments of the newly liberated territories will certainly face significant challenges, so let’s wish them the best and stay tuned.

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  3. S Brennan says:

    It is interesting that the “Marshall Plan Model” has been replaced by, as S Johnson stated, the “rule or ruin” model by our 3LA backed rulers in DC. The Russians, on the other hand, continue to believe in the wisdom of the “Marshall Plan Model” and this can clearly be seen in the way war torn Chechnya was rehabilitated.

    Our 3LA backed rulers in DC have all the answers, like lords and ladies of times past, they need no outside references, nothing separated from the space and time of present day DC. London is bit different, they can’t offer any prescription outside of those that led to the decline and fall of the British empire. And together these nobles steer our resultant empire towards a lee shoal, just off the coast from where wrecks of empires lay.

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    • yalensis says:

      People used to joke that Afghanistan was a kind of elephant’s graveyard, “the place where Empires go to die.”
      Maybe that’s also true for the Ukraine. Although others compare it more to the iceberg that greeted the Titanic!

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  4. S Brennan says:

    Worth a watch, former Ukrainians expressing their thoughts on the DC backed Ukrainian “soldiers” scorched earth withdrawal.

    http://thesaker.is/we-are-your-punishers-afu-says-to-citizens-of-lisichansk/

    Like

  5. Gareth says:

    Say what we will about Ukrainian soldiers, but they can sure did trenches, across fields, through woods, through houses, dig dig dig. My back gets sore just thinking about it.

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  6. Beluga says:

    Well. I just spent a wasted Wikipedia hour on oblasts and municipal divisions etc., and frankly I still haven’t a clue how Russia is really governed. None of it makes the slightest sense to this Westerner. And whoever wrote the articles seems to only recite the way things are rather than to explain the logic behind it all. The basic question — who and what does the average Russian vote for? Are there federal elections, oblast elections, municipal elections, or what exactly? Do the national elected MPs or whatever they’re called originate bills themselves or just argue over proposals being handed down from the Kremlin executive?

    To confuse matters even further, in Ukraine before the SMO, there must have been TWO systems of government operating in the Donbass. The official UKR one, and Pushilin’s separatist one. Was that in fact the case? Why would UKR forces shell their own entities if they had some sort of admin control? You know, as they tried to force the Ukrainian language on everyone.

    Currently, in these newly liberated areas, all I see is Russian bureaucrats being appointed to run things, chaps who’ve been through Government finishing school to be an administrator, and completely unelected but with sometimes some past admin experience. Except for Pushilin, who got elected by someone or other, apparently, to head the Donbass, while the Donbass was actually administered officially from Kiev. How did they organize his election when the region was run by Ukraine and they would have officially frowned on some election or other to elect a separatist? I mean pensions and passports were Ukrainian. Now they’re not, of course, but Russian. Reminds me of my British grandparents sixty years ago — if anything happened like the electricity going out, their response was: “they” would look after it. “They” were the unknown persons running things.

    So forgive me if I find the political situation in Lugansk and Donetz and Kherson as clear as the finest mud. If these places are to be run by career unelected bureaucrats reporting to Russia, yet at the same time Putin is always going on about places having sovereign rights to choose their own government, I think I have discovered the ultimate illogical maze. Nobody at street level knows what the eff is going on and doesn’t complain so long as the food, internet and pensions arrive on time. How people are supposed to be able to choose how to be governed when some anonymous set of bureaucrats appointed by the central government is running the place the way they see fit and likely want to keep their jobs, stretches the mind to incredulity. “You canna mix matter and anti-matter together, Captain.”

    On those annual marathon Q & A’s Putin has with the average citizen phoning in, no wonder people ask him why there’s unacceptable potholes on Gorky St in Travastorsk town in the Middle-of-Nowhere Oblast. Obviously , to me at least, there’s no local councillor or alderman to complain to, because government is run by appointees who couldn’t care less.

    This cannot really be the case, surely? There must be some actual logic beyond top down management from the Kremlin, wherein the locals get to have their actual say on local and regional matters. Or is there? Putin always seems to be exhorting governors to toe the line, so do these appointees talk back sometimes? If you know how this political maze operates, perhaps you could explain the incomprehensible to your readers. In broad terms. Minutiae would obviously rot the brain.

    Like

  7. raccoonburbleca says:

    Oh, Avalanchians. I have speculated a bit in my own blog about the future of the south Ukraine oblasts. I opined here https://yaxls.wordpress.com/2022/06/27/the-donbas-story-3/ that these people going into Russia was not as likely as they think. They will easily merge into Russia economically. Politically, it could be a problem.

    Russia does have to consider world opinion. As they found out with Crimea, just annexing a territory does not look good, even if the people there generally want it. Plus, they are going to get even more of NATO right on their border, creating more potential for flashpoints.

    Wouldn’t it be better to create a state, called Novorossiya or something like that, in an economic union with Russia but with its own army? It would be a buffer against NATO. It would also cost Russia a lot less money.

    Like

    • yalensis says:

      That sounds like a plausible idea, racoon, and might work for Zaporozhie area. I think Kherson has to be part of Russian Federation though, it feeds the water to Crimea. So many factors to consider, geopolitics is more complicated even than 4-D chess.

      Like

  8. Bukko Boomeranger says:

    Kovalev, Eliseev and Rodikov also have an important characteristic for Slavic leaders — their heads are shaped like potatoes. I have been analysing individuals in Ukraine/the oblasts using that criterion ever since you posted the correct image of Zaluzhny. To inspire the Slavic masses, it’s crucial to look manly in ways that the local culture can relate to. And that means a gourd that’s shaped like a lumpy tuber! Saldo, aside from his suspiciously Italianate surname, has a delta-shaped noggin — who could trust him? Also, check out the neck and shoulders on Kovalev. I bet he could really bring it on the Azovvers during the Pro Wrestling kayfabe in the Rada. (Footage of “can you believe what these primitive parliamentarians are doing?” would sometimes come up on local TV news shows as a sort of comic relief. Not just Ukraine — Sri Lanka, Taiwan and other “kinetic” legislatures also pop up.) If I was living in Donetsk or Luhansk, I would be saying “I welcome the rule of our new Mr. Potatohead overlords!”

    Like

    • yalensis says:

      This is good analysis. Leadership qualities can be accurately deduced by applying calipers to a person’s skull. The spud-shaped skull is theoretically able to hold a larger brain, but not necessarily one that is dedicated to the intellectual pursuits. In some cases it’s just extra bone, all the better for head-butting and wrestling pursuits. Saldo’s more elongated skull reveals, perhaps, more Finnic origins, and everybody knows that the Finnic peoples were known for their cunning. Of which, a person needs quite a lot to survive in the post as Big Kahuna, within these Byzantine corridors of power. Especially with all these new guys arriving in town!

      Like

      • FatMax says:

        Having a potato-shaped noggin is a generally Slavic male thing. Farther East you go, more Slavic they get – ergo, more potato-heads.
        It’s an old Slavic stereotype, is it not? The ultimate Slavic couple: Hot Natasha and her ugly husband Igor.

        Unfortunately, us poor Balkan mongrels are severely unmanly and not lumpy-headed enough. Too many Italian, German and Turkish genes, I’m afraid.

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