Some of my readers have criticized me for writing too many blogposts about Eurovision. But, to my mind, there is NO SUCH THING as too much Eurovision! The glitz, the stars, the scandals, even the political controversies — it’s all quite luscious. I just think it’s a shame that it happens only once per year.
Thus, we must wait until May 2017 to see the next installment of this saga. But the knives are already being sharpened, and it’s looking to be another corker! This year the song competition will take place in Kiev, Ukraine. Why Kiev? Because the rules state that the nation which won last year will host this year’s big bash.
People will recall that in 2016, after all kinds of amazing machinations and outright cheating, the Ukrainian contestant, Jamala was handed the victory, despite the fact that her winning song, “1944” was overt political propaganda. I personally have nothing against political poems or songs, but technically Eurovision bans this type of work. For a very good reason. Think about it: These are (mostly) European countries! Imagine what would happen if everybody started to scratch at old wounds and grievances, there is enough blood and pain in the Euro-past to launch a thousand new wars.
Not to mention that Jamala also broke the rule whereby a song entered into competition must be an original, and not have been performed publicly in the past. She broke that rule too. But the judges gave her a pass on that. They were determined to grant her the victory no matter what! Nothing must stand in the way of Russia’s Waterloo [pun intended]!
And also not to mention that Jamala in fact did not garner enough votes, neither from the jury, nor the televotes, to defeat the Russian contestant, Sergey Lazarev, who was basically robbed of his victory, for outright political reasons. Despite the fact that his harmless song had nothing political in it. And I make this cheating claim judiciously, as somebody who normally despises sore losers, and even defended America’s electoral college against those who insisted that Hillary Clinton won the election! But yes, in this case, fair is fair, Lazarev was clearly robbed! By lying, cheating judges who meet all the qualifications of typical Eurovision judges; namely, they are blind, deaf, and have no conscience.
See, this is what has happened: Like every other good and wholesome thing in this world, from Mexican Wrestling to cock-fighting, Eurovision has become totally corrupted by Cold War politics. Jamala’s anti-Communist and anti-Russian song was given the nod by European judges who wanted to punish Russia for its so-called “annexation” of Crimea. As well as just hating Russia for lots of other reasons too. But the Westies simply could not pass up this opportunity to spit in Russia’s face by handing the laurels to a Ukrainian nationalist who sang a whiny song about her Tatar “ancestors” and their brutal treatment under the Soviets, when they were forced to pack their bags and leave Crimea.
Meanwhile, a certain Russian blogger claims that Jamala’s grandfather is the man shown in this photograph (second from the left), in the company of a Crimean Tatar Nazi Brigade. According to him, Gramps truly did collaborate with Uncle Adolph and fully deserved to be deported, at a time when the Soviet people were fighting for their very existence against the European invading hordes.
Well, people can believe what they want to believe; just remember that there are two sides to every story. (Although Westies typically only get to hear one side of the story, the anti-Russian side.) The Tatars were not necessarily angels; nor were the Russians all devils, despite what the Westies and the Eurovision Judges will try to tell you.
But Enough About The Past!
But let us put all that bitterness behind us move on to our glorious future, in the year 2017. Which we will celebrate in Kiev this year with frothy songs, glitzy costumes, and amazing special effects!
So, approximately 4 months from now, 9-11 May 2017, a man named Alexander Sergeevich Panayotov will arrive in Kiev to represent at the song contest, not his native Ukraine, but actually the Russian Federation. Panayotov was born in 1984, in the city of Zaporozhie, then in the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic, nowadays just Ukraine. Panayotov has studied music since the age of 10. He attended the Kiev State College of Performing Arts and Circus, but did not become a circus star. Instead, in 2002, he moved to Moscow to launch his career as a stage singer and also engaged in various television projects.
Returning to Kiev, Panayotov went back to college and also created his own pop musical group, called “Alliance”. Just last month he performed on the Russian TV show “Golos”, which is the equivalent of the American show “Voice”. Here is the song which he performed in the quarter-final of the show, the title roughly translates as “What am I to you?”
Panayotov’s Hamletesque question was not quite good enough to win the “Golos” show, but good enough to get him the gig as Russia’s entry to Eurovision. Just a few days ago, Channel 1 confirmed that they had picked Panayotov to represent Russia at the European song competition.
So, where is the juicy controversy, you inquire?
Well, there is none. At least not yet. Those of us in the Russophile blogosphere, who were lusting for some bloody revenge this year — for example, a powerful Russian song about Banderite crimes, or the Volhynia Massacres, or something of that nature — well, we are going to be disappointed. All we get is Panayotov singing a piece which he claims will be “a song of reconciliation and love, guaranteed to melt everybody’s heart.”
The only tiny controversy was whether the Ukrainian nationalists would permit an ethnic Ukrainian such as Panayotov to represent their blood enemy, Russia. I mean, isn’t he now, like, a traitor to them? Well, according to Ukrainian Nazi official, Anton Herashchenko, aka “Fat Bastard”, Panayotov will be permitted to re-enter his native land, so long as “he promises not to criticize the Ukrainian government.” Herashchenko added the caveat that he is not familiar with the works of this particular artist. “However,” he continued generously, “provided Panayotov is not on the list of people who are forbidden entry into Ukraine, then I don’t foresee any problems.”