Russian Right Sektor Volunteer Accidentally Blows Self Up In Odessa

Dear Readers:

This is Doctor Zaius speaking here, just temporarily taking over for yalensis, who is incapacitated today, for reasons which are none of your business.

Once upon a time there were these brainy creatures called “Chess Masters” who battled one another using the sheer pattern-crunching power of their neurons.  One of the greatest of these Chess Masters was a clever Jew Named Efim Geller, who brought much glory to his native land.  Geller died in time (probably from smoking too much), and a street was named after him in Odessa, Ukraine.

Dr. Zaius explains how it all began….

Then de-volution occurred:  Men became monkeys, and monkeys acquired grenades.  The result we see before us.  Although I am a monkey myself, and descended from monkeys, I am not a proponent of giving my own kind these weapons.  For reasons which you shall see, shortly.

So, I saw this story in both Russian and Ukrainian press.  The “Dumskaya” newspaper claims to have sources within the Prosecutor’s Office in Odessa, which provided some details of the event.  Here is a straight translation of the entire piece:

The explosion in the house on Geller Street was caused by volunteers of the Anti-Terrorist Operation:  They were preparing a bomb.

The explosion in the private home on Efim Geller Street in Odessa turned out to be the fault of the residents — some former members of the Volunteer Ukrainian Corps (VUC) Right Sektor.

Right Sektor. Volunteer Ukrainian Corps

As sources within the Prosecutors Office communicated to [the newspaper] “Dumskaya”, two people died as a result of this accident:  One of the Right Sektor veterans; and also the 70-year-old owner of the house.

In the remains of the explosion, investigators found fragments of grenades of the type F-1 and RGD.  The participants were apparently attempting to extract Trinitrotoluene (TNT) from the grenades.  [And then something went horribly wrong – Dr. Zaius.]

According to the report of the patrol officers on the scene, there were, in all, 6 people inside the house.  Neighbors, patrol officers, and members of the Emergency Services Agency pulled out from under the ruins two male corpses and a 92-year-old woman, who turned out to be alive.  The woman was taken to the hospital and is currently categorized as “in medium to critical condition”, with a fractured tibia (shinbone), an injury to her chestbone, and poisoning due to inhalation of fumes.

Update at 15:15 – According to unconfirmed reports, the remains of some other type of explosive device was also found in the ruins.

Update at 16:26 – The dead ATO (Anti-Terrorist Operation) veteran has been identified as someone who used the call-sign “Volkov”.  He was a sapper in the “Zakarpatie” Brigade of the Ukrainian Volunteers.

Update at 17:48 – The dead Right Sektor veteran was a citizen of the Russian Federation.  Experts reckon that one of the grenades must have exploded, which set off the [natural] gas line in the house, thus explaining the massiveness of of the explosion.

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