Here is the plan: Tomorrow (hopefully) I will bring you a more serious historical piece, about a war which happened over two decades ago. This was an inter-ethnic conflict between two Caucasian peoples, the Gruzians and the Abkhazians. Spoiler alert: The Abkhazians won. But more of that later.
For today, though, I have a short, sensationalist, tabloid-type piece about Ukrainian pilot (and now Rada Deputy) Nadezhda Savchenko. This piece is of such a nature, that I can place it simultaneously in two of my rarely-chosen categories “Celebrity Gossip” as well as “Sex and Spy Scandals”.
The headline reads: “Wikileaks Ukrainian Representative Tells of Savchenko’s Sex Orgies”.
Disclaimer: They have not published the actual Wikileaks documents yet, from what I can see. It’s just somebody saying somebody said somebody else said that Wikileaks said that…. as Russians say, “одна баба сказала…”
Anyhow, when I saw the piece I tried to do a quickie google to see if it had hit the English-language net yet. If somebody else did it, then I don’t bother, because this is beneath me. Hence, I googled “Wikileaks on Savchenko” but all I found was this translation of the very same story which I am about to translate. Except that my translation is way better, as you shall see. Because I translate into actual English, not into hilarious pidgin. For starters, the pidgin headline: “USA decided to make Savchenko, the President of Ukraine after an Orgy with five men” makes it sound like the U.S. was so impressed with Savchenko’s sexual prowess that they decided to make her Prez!
The reality is that (probably) the Americans didn’t know yet about the multi-men orgies, and just assumed, like everybody else, that Savchenko is gay. Another hilarious blooper in the pidgin translation is “He added that Nadezhda Savchenko is interested in the US, which recruited her to his side.” That sentence should have been translated as “Savchenko is of interest to the U.S., which recruited her to its side…” Machine translation never seems to do very well with active vs. passive voice in Russian. And this despite very clear grammatical markers in the case endings of the Russian nouns and adjectives. I do realize that digital computers are incapable of fully and accurately translating human language in all of its semantic richness — nonetheless, one would think that at a very minimum, predictable case endings could be automated into regular expressions (?)
Be that as it may..
The “hero” of this story is Ukrainian Wikileaks journalist Sergei Kirnik. Kirnik appeared on the Russian NTV channel. Here is the link to that episode. What follows is straight-out translation, of that portion of the transcript from the NTV link:
The Kings Of Kompromat (NTV Show Title)
Sergei Nikolaevich Kirnik is like Edward Snowden and Julian Assange all rolled into one….
Wait! Stop the Press!
This is yalensis speaking again: I don’t have to do this after all, because, when googling Kirnik, I just saw this: Somebody woke up earlier than me, and scooped me, with a real translation of the NTV piece.
[Thank you, Ollie and Angelina.]