Is Tiger Amur Just a Big Pussy?

The Siberian Tiger: King of the Taiga? Or just a big pussycat?

Dear Readers:

Today’s post is a “relationship-update” on the antics of the Primorye Safari-Park “Odd Couple”, namely Amur (the tiger), and his pal Timur (the goat).

The story gains in importance every day that goes by and Timur has not been eaten by Amur.  A web camera has been set up to record the animals’ every move.  Tourists are flocking to the safari park to see the famous duo.  A South Korean filmmaker plans to make a movie about the pair.  The animals even have their own social-media pages and tons of followers.  There is even talk of creating a children’s cartoon show based on the friendship between the two beasts.  But this will probably not happen, since animated cartoons take years to plan and execute.

Timur:  Friend or Chow?

Remember that goat in Jurassic Park?

Recall that Timur the Goat was originally placed into Amur’s enclosure for the same reason that the goat in “Jurassic Park” was placed in the T-Rex pen.  Safari Park had a policy that the tiger (1) would be fed live meat, and (2) had to run after it and catch it himself, not just presented on a silver platter.  Usually rabbits were let loose in his enclosure, and he would chase them, catch them, and eat them.  (Still does.)  And then they decided to give him something a bit more gamy.  Hence, Timur the Goat was let loose inside the tiger’s enclosure.

But things didn’t go according to plan.  Timur, like the idiot young Siegfried in Wagner’s Ring Cycle, did not understand the concept of fear.  This is what saved him.  The moment that Amur approached him, Timur stood up on his hind legs and threatened to butt the aggressor with his horns.  Amur backed off, and the two became fast friends.  Just like in a buddy movie.

Timur: “Check out my new Crib, baby!”

But, as in any buddy movie, there is a “dominant”, in this case it is the goat.  In the very first days of their relationship, Timur had established his right to sleep in Amur’s bed of hay.  In a recent “episode” of this animal-reality show, during the first snowfall of the season, Timur chased Amur out of his cozy shelter.  The big cat was forced to make his cold bed out in the snow.  The attached video within this link shows Timur making himself at home in Amur’s pad.  If things keep going in this direction, then soon Amur will be bringing drinks to Timur’s crib, wearing a flat-screen TV on his head, and bending over to shine Timur’s hooves.

Popular Reaction

The Russian public has reacted very positively to this animal event, it’s become a true fad in popular culture and memes.  But Russians can be jackasses, just like other people.  The Director of the Safari Park, Dmitry Mezentsev, was forced to indignantly reject some evil-tongued suggestions that the two animals were in an “unnatural” relationship.

“Sexual relations between the two are impossible,” Mezentsev objected.  “Such unnatural relations are only possible among immoral people.  And animals are much more moral than people.  Therefore, this sort of thing cannot and will not happen.”

Mezentsev also refuted cynical allegations that the workers at the Safari Park are placing bets on how it takes, before Amur will kill and eat his friend:  “We are not placing bets on that.  He (Amur) could have killed him (Timur) a thousand times.  This tiger continues to hunt [rabbits].  But he did not kill Timur, and he won’t kill him.”

Another jackass reaction was that of Russia’s mean-spirited Deputy Prime Minister, Dmitry Rogozin.  Adding his cynical two-kopecks worth to the discussion, Rogozin tweeted this:

Когда от Тимура останутся одни рожки да ножки, это станет уроком для всех козлов, поверивших в свою исключительность
Всем доброго утра и привет из Пекина))

TRANSLATION:

When all that remains of Timur are horns and hooves, then this will stand as a lesson to all goats, who believe in their own Exceptionality.  Good morning to all, and greetings from Beijing))

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32 Responses to Is Tiger Amur Just a Big Pussy?

  1. PaulR says:

    It is surely fulfillment of a prophecy, and an appropriate one for Christmas time. Isaiah 11:6 – ‘The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat, and the calf and the lion and the fattened calf together; and a little child shall lead them.’

    Like

    • yalensis says:

      Ha ha! So true!
      But who is the child? Masha?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Jen says:

        Little Purple Riding Hood and the Big Bad Bear (or the Big Bad Wolf masquerading as a bear).

        Like

        • Lyttenburgh says:

          There are actually 2 Big Bad Wolves in “Masha and Medved”. They are scared of her. In fact, there is one episode that is loosely based O. Henry’s “Indian Chief’s ransom”, where those 2 wolves “kidnapped” Masha. Poor, poor clueless grey-furs…

          Like

          • yalensis says:

            Speaking of popular culture, Comrade Lyttenburgh, I wonder if you would be interested in writing a review of the Hollywood blockbuster “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.”. I watched it a few nights ago on streaming-whatever. Didn’t want to watch it, but was forced to. In the end, I enjoyed it.
            I thought it would be horribly anti-Russian, but it was not anti-Russian, only anti-Soviet.
            In fact, according to wikipedia, the movie opened with some success in Russia and garnered a couple of million bucks on the first night. I think Hollywood writers might be cognizant now, that Russians are a market for their B.S. films, so they have to roll back the racist-type russophobia. In addition, the Russian dialogue sounds like it is spoken by actual Russian-speaking actors.
            Has the usual stereotypes about Soviet life, and so on (Ilya’s father put in Gulag, little-boy Ilya also in Gulag, and meant to feel the shame for his family). Still, what can one expect?

            At least the Ilya Kuryakin character was not such a bad person, in fact, despite his mental illness issues, he is the most sympathetic character in the movie, the only one who actually has integrity.
            Don’t know if you’ve seen it.
            I thought of writing a review myself, but your reviews are way funnier than mine!
            What do you think? I can pay you in vodka.

            Like

            • Lyttenburgh says:

              Yes, I’ve seen it about 2 months ago. I really liked it (hey – It’s Guy Ritchie’s film!). AFAIK, it’s a remake of 1960s popular (comedy?) spy series. Jen wrote on KS that she watched the original.

              I realy liked the movie. Yes, obligatory “Evul KGB”, “Escape from East Berlin”, chess, robotic Russian agent, supppressing his feelings, blah-blah-blah. But dialogs are good and snappy. Some stereotypes are busted in funny way (“Of course Soviet engineer would punch a thug in the face!”), 1960s esthetics, nice action scenes…

              That’s why I don’t feel like I can make a review on it. I prefer to verbally annihilate “klyukvafication” flicks and books and stuff, not something that’s rather good.

              Like

            • Jen says:

              Er, no, I’ve never seen the original “Man from UNCLE” episodes.

              Like

            • yalensis says:

              Lyttenburgh: That’s okay, I don’t feel like I could annihilate this movie either. It’s just too damned good. I liked the 60’s ambiance, the clothes, hairdos, glamorous Italians, obligatory Monte Carlo car racing, etc. They could have done more with the Napoleon Solo character. He is supposed to be a safe cracker and jewel thief, I wished to see a scene in which he used those skills more and maybe stole some jewels, in a Cary Grant-like cat burglar manner.

              I liked Armie Hammer as Ilya. Given his family background, his Russian is good, and he portrayed the character as having some depth and integrity, despite the horrible things which the Stalin regime did to his family 😦

              Jen: Here is some information which I read about the American TV show. It ran for 3 or 4 seasons and was very popular initially. That was the time in American TV when spies were very popular. Probably because of the Cold War and the James Bond franchise. They had several spy shows on American TV, all running concurrently. U.N.C.L.E. started off as a serious spy drama, but gradually descended into self-parody, probably influenced by the popularity of the competing comedy spy show “Get Smart”.
              The odd concept for U.N.C.L.E. was actually developed by Ian Fleming. His concept was that the CIA and KGB had to put aside their differences and join forces from time to time, in order to jointly fight against a common threat. For example, a beautiful but sociopathic Italian blonde lady with a maverick nuke. That sort of thing. All these baddies were descendants of Professor Moriarty, and eventually they formed a baddy organization called “Thrush”, whose goal was to take over the world. Hence, the organization U.N.C.L.E. was formed, through the midwivery of MI-6, and with an Englishman, Mr. Waverly, as its head. And is under the jurisdiction of the United Nations. Which is why it is headquartered in New York City.
              U.N.C.L.E.’s mandate is to fight against Thrush and prevent them from taking over the world. Waverly recruited Solo from the CIA and Kuryagin from the KGB and teamed them together. So they became a buddy act.

              Based on this, the movie is a nifty little prequel. It introduces the concept and the main characters, including Mr. Waverly (who is played very well by Hugh Grant). And bottom line is that I will go to see any movie that has Hugh Grant in it.

              Like

            • yalensis says:

              P.S. – Jen: I think Lyttenburgh was confusing you with Moscow Exile.
              I think it was M.E. who said that he had watched the U.N.C.L.E. eps on TV.
              And then went into a rant about David McCallum and Scottish accents and a’ that.

              Like

            • Jen says:

              Probably because at the same time David McCallum was playing a KGB agent on TV, Sean Connery was playing James Bond in the film series. Their accents must have been almost indistinguishable yet they were playing characters on opposite sides of the Cold War. (Although Connery did later surface as a Lithuanian-Russian submarine commander in “The Hunt for Red October.”)

              Incidentally McCallum and Connery both appeared in “Hell Drivers”, a 1950s film about truck drivers working at a quarry and racing each other to see who can make the most round trips. The film’s main claim to fame is its cast who were all unknown at the time and found fame and fortune much later: as well as McCallum and Connery, there were William Hartnell (the first Doctor Who), Jill Ireland (who married McCallum after the film and then Charles Bronson much later), Patrick McGoohan, Gordon Jackson, Sid James and Herbert Lom.

              Like

            • yalensis says:

              Wow! that’s what I call an all-star cast! I must rent this movie, if I can.
              The other name that jumps out at me is Patrick McGoohan, who also played spies on TV.
              McGoohan was in 2 series, “Secret Agent” (which I have watched most eps on tape, and like very much), and “The Prisoner”. The latter series became a cult classic, and I have watched some of it, but I don’t think it’s as good as “Secret Agent”. For starters, it is very surrealistic and absurdist, whereas I prefer my spy dramas to be straight-up and realistic.

              And the political overtones of “The Prisoner” are also liberal-existentialist claptrap about the “authoritarian state” and how hopeless life is, and so on. Although in this case they are talking about England, so I guess they have a point.

              I guess the back-story is that Patrick McGoohan’s original character, secret agent John Drake, then fell afoul with the authorities, which is why they later kidnapped him and placed him in this very weird internment camp.

              P.S. – the first time I heard that Johnny Rivers song, I thought he was singing, “Secret ASIAN man” … !

              Like

  2. Jen says:

    Oh come on, you know that when Rogozin made that crack about goats believing in their own exceptionality, he was really referring to those governments who believe that absolute natural laws about consequences and “what goes up must come down” don’t apply to them.

    Like

    • Cortes says:

      Agreed.

      Plus, the tiger knows how much of a set up it was and prefers to disdain the provocation. It’s French governess always encouraged Amur propre avant tout.

      Like

      • yalensis says:

        That’s a good point too. It’s like the scene in “Spartacus” where Kirk Douglas is forced to fight his bestie, Tony Curtis, in the gladiator arena, just for the viewing pleasure of Senator Crassus.
        In defiance, both gladiators refuse to fight, and lay down their weapons, just like Amur and Timur have…
        Oh wait! I forgot that Kirk actually stabs Tony to death.
        But it’s a tender homoerotic scene.

        Like

        • Cortes says:

          Does he fight Tony Curtis? I don’t think so. He fights “the token black ” if memory serves?

          Like

          • yalensis says:

            In the movie, KIrk fights a lot of guys, including a Nubian gladiator, I think.
            Maybe my memory is corrupt, but I am pretty sure that towards the end of the movie, Crassus forces Kirk and Tony to fight each other. The winner gets to be crucified. This is why the two men actually do fight to the death, because they’re besties, and each wants to spare the other the lingering death of crucifixion.

            In the end, Kirk wins, he stabs Tony in the heart, and then cradles a dying Tony Curtis in his arms. Tony’s last words, tenderly murmured (in Brooklyn accent): “I love ya, Spahtacus.”

            Like

        • Cortes says:

          Kirk Douglas features tangentially in one of the funniest/saddest stories I’ve heard.

          Apparently (one of) his youngest offspring tried to carve out a career as a standup comedian. During a gig at The Comedy Store in London he’s supposed to have erupted in exasperation following sustained heckling by a drunk in the audience.

          “Do you know who I am? I’m Kirk Douglas’s son!” He’s reported as roaring.

          A wit at the back (aren’t they always at the back?) stood up and shouted

          “No, I’m Kirk Douglas’s son”… Etc

          Like

    • yalensis says:

      I know, but he hurt Timur’s feelings deeply, because Timur is an anti-imperialist goat.

      Like

      • Jen says:

        Rogozin will have to be careful if he visits the zoo or he will be treated the same way by Timur as the car burglar in the famous story “The Pet Goat” (not “My Pet Goat” as I had thought).

        Full text of “The Pet Goat” (thanks to DemocraticUnderground.com):

        THE PET GOAT

        A girl got a pet goat. She liked to go running with her pet goat. She played with her pet goat in her house. She played with her pet goat in her yard.

        But the goat did some things that made the girl’s dad mad. The goat ate things. He ate cans and he ate canes. He ate pans and he ate panes. He even ate capes and caps.

        One day her dad said, “That goat must go. He eats too many things.”

        The girl said, “Dad, if you let the goat stay with us, I will see that he stops eating all those things.”

        He dads said, “We will try it.”

        So the goat stayed and the girl made him stop eating cans and canes and caps and capes.

        But one day a car robber came to the girl’s house. He saw a big red car near the house and said, “I will steal that car.”

        He ran to the car and started to open the door.

        The girl and the goat were playing in the backyard. They did not see the car robber.
        ———————————————————–

        A girl had a pet goat. Her dad had a red car.

        A car robber was going to steal her dad’s car. The girl and her goat were playing in the back yard.

        Just then the goat stopped playing. He saw the robber. He bent his head down and started to run for the robber. The robber was bending over the seat of the car. The goat hit him with his sharp horns. The car robber went flying.

        The girl’s dad ran out of the house. He grabbed the robber. “You were trying to steal my car,” he yelled.

        The girl said, “But my goat stopped him.”

        “Yes,” her dad said. “That goat saved my car.”

        The car robber said, “Something hit me when I was trying to steal that car.”

        The girl said, “My goat hit you.”

        The girl hugged the goat. Her dad said, “That goat can stay with us. And he can eat all the cans and canes and caps and capes he wants.”

        The girl smiled. Her goat smiled. Her dad smiled. But the car robber did not smile. He said, “I am sore.”

        THE END

        No wonder George W Bush was so riveted by the story while reading it to a bunch of kindergartners, that he completely ignored multiple national emergencies in New York, Washington DC and Shanksville in Pennsylvania. That little goat sure was an exceptional goat!

        Like

        • yalensis says:

          When Secret Service whispered in his ear that America was under attack from several directions, including the Pentagon under attack, Bush was probably just at the part in the story where the robber was trying to steal the car.
          With the little girl in the back yard, almost right there with the robber! Eeeek!

          Anybody, not just Bush, would be worried that the little girl was about to be kidnapped by the car thief.
          No wonder he would hold up his finger and say:
          “Give me a second, I have to find out what happens next.”
          And then continued to read the story.

          Like

        • Cortes says:

          That’s because he cowrote the script for the events in NYC, DC and Shanksville.

          Like

        • Jen says:

          Of course what Daddy in the story didn’t know was that the little girl had paid the car robber to steal Daddy’s car so that the goat could butt him and Daddy would have to relent and allow the goat to do whatever it liked after becoming a hero.

          You see, that’s why the little girl and the goat were smiling at the end. The car robber will probably threaten to spill the beans about the false flag attack to Ed Snowden and Wikileaks.

          Like

  3. marknesop says:

    I read John Vaillant’s, “The Tiger” (set in the Russian Far East, where the missus is from), and I don’t think I’ll ever look at them the same way again.

    http://www.amazon.com/The-Tiger-Vengeance-Survival-Departures/dp/0307389049

    According to that – and the author dramatized it a little, I’m sure, but the truth is scary enough – they’re a killing machine. In the final scene, although the tiger the men have pursued is wounded and weak from no rest, when he breaks cover and charges there are three men firing at him as fast as they can pull the trigger and he still hit the middle man hard enough to knock him down. When they got the tiger off him, he couldn’t find his rifle – most of it had gone down the tiger’s throat, all but the stock. Earlier in the book, the tiger killed the man who originally shot him and injured him so he limped slightly (a few shot pellets, the guy fired a shotgun through the wall at him), then dragged his mattress into the open and laid on it, waiting for another who was tracking him. He was on that guy in about three jumps, he barely had time to get his gun up, and what they found of him, his father said would fit in a shirt pocket.

    This is apparently a true story in all the salient details, including the barrel of the rifle actually going down the tiger’s throat. The men who killed him were from some sort of government game protection service based in Vladivostok. The Russian Far East is a weird zone where subtropical and frigid zones come together, and creatures and plants are found there which live in few other places or nowhere else – the snow leopard and the Siberian tiger are two.

    Like

  4. AGermanyGuy says:

    >And animals are much more moral than people
    So interspecies romance would be amoral. But “having a friend for dinner” in the final chapter wouldn’t be?

    Like

    • yalensis says:

      Oh, there were degenerates laying bets on how long before Amur ate his friend!
      In the end, he (Amur) just shook him (Timur) up and threw him out.
      Timur is still alive, but that friendship is over.

      Like

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