Before I get to the meat of my story, I just want to define a term, which I learned from Kremlin Stooge’s Mark Chapman, who is sort of the King of the Russophile Bloggers. The term is “bury the lede”, which is something a journalist is never supposed to do in a story. Not that I am actually a journalist – I never took a single class in journalism. But I DID watch a lot of Superman movies, and I know that editor Perry White was always telling Clark Kent: “Don’t bury the lede, son.” Except that I always thought it was spelled “lead”, but Mark corrected me on that too, the correct spelling is “lede”, and Mark is a bit of a stickler about spelling.
With that bit of business out of the way, we can now proceed with our story:
Readers will recall, from back in September, top Russian Investigator/Prosecutor, Alexander Bastrykin, accused Ukrainian Prime Minister Arseny Yatsenyuk of fighting in Chechnya (against Russia) in the 1990’s. Furthermore, Bastrykin accused Yatsenuk of committing war crimes and torturing/killing Russian soldiers. Pro-Russian media and bloggers had a field day photo-shopping jihadi beards onto Yatsenyuk’s face, which in normal times is as smooth as a baby’s patootie. In Russia, these photoshop joke images are called фото-жабы (“photo-zhaby”).
Please recall that the First Chechen war lasted from 1994-1995. The war was internationalized and involved foreign fighters (assisting the Chechen side) from Muslim nations, as well as anti-Russian fighters from nations such as Estonia, Gruzia, and Ukraine. As far as I know, Yatsenyuk has never admitted that he fought against the Russian army in Chechnya. To admit this, would be to officially make him an international terrorist, in the eyes of Russian law enforcement.
Yats Gets Cosmic-Wedgie In Rada
Then yesterday, Yats was back in the news, bigtime. This time as the victim of a Rada bully named Oleg Barna, from a rival political party. Ukrainian politics are too complicated to describe here (that’s a whole ‘nother post). Suffice it to say, for the purposes of this post (and you’ll get what this post is about if you continue to read to the end, because I am deliberately burying the lede here):
- Yats is very much hated among the Ukrainian political elite and the people themselves. As Prime Minister he has pretty much ruined the government that he was entrusted to lead;
- One of Yatsenyuk’s very few remaining friends (aside from his own family) is this guy, Arsen Avakov, the much-loathed head of Internal Affairs, secret police type guy, master of the dark arts, etc. Despite his innate viciousness, Avakov has always had a soft spot for Yats, and has always stood up for his pal. Please keep that fact in mind, as you read through the rest of the story. (Which is almost over, I promise.)
And just one more thing, before I get to the “lede”, which is this:
Bloggers and internet-freaks, as you can imagine, had a second field day posting the ridiculous images of Yatsenyuk, trying to hold on to Rada lectern, while bully Barna grabs him in half-nelson around the family jewels and attempts to bodily carry him away. All the while, Yats with a strangely calm look on his face. Reminding me, somehow, of an unwary virginal animal about to be mounted, and not even sure what this is all about, but somehow resigned to its fate, knowing that this is the law of nature.
The VZGLIAD piece that I linked has a selection of videos: some internet-freaks put the entire episode to music. My personal favorite is the second vid, where Yatsie’s adventure takes place to the background of Celine Dion, “Our Love Will Go On”, from “Titanic”.
But now, enough of this fun and games, now that I have laid all the groundwork, it is time for me to get to the LEDE:
Balls of Steel
The lede is buried here, in this piece from PolitNavigator of which I translate the first two paragraphs:
Minister of Internal Affairs Arsen Avakov told the story, how People’s Deputy Maria Matios sewed back a button onto the jacket of Prime Minister Arseny Yatsenyuk; the button had been ripped off by People’s Deputy Oleg Barna from the “Petr Poroshenko Party”.
Avakov wrote about this on his Facebook page.
“Does Yatsenyuk have balls of steel?” [Avakov wrote]. “That idiot Barna decided to verify the fact. But the issue here is not about balls, or about Yatsenyuk. The issue here is about the disclosed secret: His balls ARE made of iron. Since his time in Chechnya. P.S. Maria Matios has a good heart, sewing back on a button that was ripped off by a madman. That’s how the relationship between our factions ought to be.”
END OF TRANSLATION
Ooops! Did Avakov just accidentally let slip, that Yatsenyuk is an international jihadi terrorist?