World Class Catfight: Kremlin Troll vs. American Carpetbagger

Dear Readers:

Today I have a doozy of a catfight for you.  Involving two influential ladies, one of whom has a hopeless job, and the other of whom REALLY knows how to troll like an Olympic champion!

Kremlin Troll

In this corner:
We have Maria Zakharova, she works for Russian Ministry of Foreign Affairs as their primary spokesperson.  And believe me, she is nothing like what this job used to be.  She is blonde, sassy, internet-savvy, and uses her Facebook and Twitter to expertly troll against Russia’s enemies.

In the other corner of the ring:

Minister of “so-called” Finances

We have Natalie Jaresko, she is an American-born highly handshakable investment banker who got herself appointed Minister of Finances of the Ukraine.  In guess you haven’t guessed, Natalie is the one with the hopeless job.  But still, she keeps on trucking, like a …. er… trucker.

A couple of days ago, Natalie came up with a novel excuse why the Ukraine refused to pay back their “sovereign debt” (a $3 billion dollar bond) to the Russian Federation.  On the level of “The dog ate my I.O.U. note”, Jaresko came up with this [and I only have the Russian quote, so I am translating back into English, which may not necessarily be the same English as Jaresko’s original quote – yalensis disclaimer]:

“In this question, we are sensitive to the strong feelings of the [Ukrainian] people, which is opposed to our paying off this debt.”

In other words, if the population of a country “feels” (and not even measured by a referendum or opinion poll, we just “intuit” their “feelings”) that they don’t want to have to pay back a debt, then they don’t have to pay!

This is as novel an approach as any to international financing, and I guess the IMF has taken note, since they just changed all the rules in the rulebook, to accommodate the Ukraine.

Trolls in the Kremlin?

But returning to our catfight…  What was Maria’s response to Natalie’s venture into “creative debt restructuring”?

Why, a Facebook  cat scratch, of course.

Here is the Russian quote, followed by my translation:

Министр как бы финансов Украины Наталья Яресько, ранее сотрудник Госдепа США, бизнесвумен и оранжевый революционер, объяснила, почему ее нынешняя страна может не выплатить России трёхмиллиардный долг.  «Мы чувствуем в этом вопросе сильное давление со стороны народа, который выступает против возвращения этого долга», – сказала глава Минфина Украины.

Вопросов нет. Разве что один: а «сильное давление» со стороны народа Крыма засчитывается в качестве аргумента за возвращение в состав России?

IMF is very sensitive to peoples feelings.



Maria Zakharova:

The Minister of so-called Finances of the Ukraine, Natalie Jaresko, who used to work for the U.S. State Department, also a businesswoman and Orange Revolutionary, has explained (to us) why her current country may possibly not pay Russia back its $3 billion dollar debt.  “In this question, we are sensitive to the strong feelings of the [Ukrainian] people, which is opposed to our paying off this debt,” the Minister of Finances has stated.

Well, that’s it, then.  Except for one little thing:  What about the “strong feelings” of the people of Crimea, who wanted to be reintegrated back into the Russian Federation?  Why were their “feelings” not taken into account?


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3 Responses to World Class Catfight: Kremlin Troll vs. American Carpetbagger

  1. marknesop says:

    Beautiful – just beautiful. I’m sending it to OffGuardian.


  2. marknesop says:

    Zakharova is good. I’m glad Putin decided to take my advice; “Take a memo, Russia. Stop staffing your diplomatic corps with bad copies of Boris and Natasha from “The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show” and start recruiting people foreigners will want to listen to.”

    Zakharova’s easy command of English makes it possible for her to instantly rebut zingers from the peanut gallery, where previously the Anglosphere was treated to some witty repartee, instantly buttressed by the Russian looking like a slab-faced goon who was just served, while in reality he was just listening to the translation and putting together a response. English speakers love to think how dumb Russians are because they can’t speak English like English speakers do.

    That Zakharova’s emergence coincides with the ignominious collapse of the U.S. state Department is just icing on the cake. If Zakharova continues to skewer hapless western political figures and their favourites, in two languages, the west’s choices will narrow to banning the network (RT). They won’t be able to ban whatever English-speaking western networks cover international affairs, but RT is the only one that will not respond to U.S. orders to edit out Zakharova’s response or provide a voice-over.


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