Rogozin to Balts: Take These Donkey Ears – Please!


vs. Dzintars

For this week’s catfight, we present Latvia’s Minister of Justice, Dzintars Rasnačs  vs. Deputy Prime Minister of Russia,  Dmitry Rogozin.  The basic gist of the dispute:

Dzintars:  “You occupied and abused us.  Now we’re poor.  We demand money.”
Rogozin:  “Here, Dzintars, I’ll give you something even better than money….”

The context comes from this piece , written by Vyacheslav Samoilov, for EurasiaDaily.

Who Is To Blame?

As everyone knows, the official governments of the Baltic States (Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia) have many beefs against Russia, their giant neighbor to the South.

Bottom: “Lord, what fools these mortals be!” Titania: “Lovin’ your new ear-do!”

This week, all three Baltic governments got together in Riga to make their routine demand of Russia:  To compensate them for their past “Occupation” and all the suffering that ensued.  A few billion dollars would do the job nicely.

Rasnačs spoke for all the others when he made the following statement:

When life gets you down, try to find a sympathetic ear: “Moochers!”

“The devastation which the Occupationist Soviet totalitarian regime wreaked on the Baltics, is impossible to fully compensate!  However, compensation is lawful and necessary, to make right for the illegality which occurred. and in order to guarantee the further stability and security of the nation.”

Rasnačs went on to repeat the standard Baltic meme, namely that the current poverty and depopulation of the Baltic nations is a consequence of the “painful Soviet legacy”.  Given that the human brain is perfectly able to calculate alternative historical realities by tweaking variables from the past [sarcasm], it is known for a scientific 100% certainty that, ’twere it not for the Soviet “Occupation”, the Balto-argument goes, the Baltic nations would currently enjoy a standard of living equal to FINLAND’S.  Instead, all they see around them is poverty, depression, unemployment, depopulation and loss.  Which have nothing to do with their governments’ neo-liberal economic policies, or the population’s indebtedness to Western banks, and everything to do with the Soviet past.

The solution is to bill Russia for billions of dollars.  The method of calculating the amount of compensation is being discussed by the Justice Ministers of all three nations.  They are working out a formula, even as we speak.

What Is To Be Done?

Next plug in the Stalin Constant…

Meanwhile, the Russian government is used to these outbursts.  And it doesn’t even matter, who is wrong, or who is right, in this historical dispute.  It’s like your brother-in-law and his ex-wife:  Nobody except them, even cares any more what happened, or who is to blame, for their break-up.  The raw fact is, that the Russian government will NEVER compensate the Baltic states for past “occupation”.  If anything, the Russian government will present a counter-bill, demanding repayment for all the money that was invested, over those decades, by the Soviet state, into the Baltic industrial infrastructure.

Who Owes Whom?

The meme of “47 years of Soviet occupation” is the official ideology of the Baltic states, as they struggle to formulate a national history and identity based on those social classes and segments of society, and those ethnic elements which were hostile to the Soviet Union and which favored Europe and the West.  These elites felt humiliated being under the “jackboot” of the barbaric Russians.  For them, granted, it isn’t even about the money, it’s about their feelings of self-worth.  After the collapse of the Soviet Union, these ethnic elites felt the same way that Titania did, waking up in the morning, and realizing that she was tricked into making love to a donkey.

Weena: “I feel so dirty!”

On the other hand, for many ordinary people who have to work for a living, the Soviet system provided them with a measure of security and human dignity.  A job, a pension, little things like that.  Regardless of ethnic loyalties, for these people the end of Soviet system was a catastrophe.

As Samoilov points out, by the time of the Soviet collapse around 1990, the three Baltic Republics were fully developed industrial nations, with economic indicators comparable to those of Western Europe.  For example, at the end of the 1980’s, Latvia had a GDP of around $6265 per capita.  Compare this with West Germany, at $10,709; Italy $7425; Ireland $5225.  Latvian industrial firms produced radios, heavy vehicles, tape recorders, milking machines, washing machines, paper products, mopeds, pianos, robots, telephones, railway cars, the list goes on and on.  Population had a healthy growth of 1.1 per 1000 per year.

Lithuania and Estonia similarly were flourishing nations, by any demographic or economic indicator.  Economically and demographically, these countries thrived under Soviet “occupation”.

The collapse of the Soviet Union led to the economic collapse of these countries too.  When the Titanic goes down, so do the surrounding small boats.  Meanwhile, much of the old Communist Party nomenklatura switched sides, became “nationalists” and maintained their elite positions in the new societies, which now plunged down the neo-liberal capitalist economic path, guided by their new mentor, the United States.  Old elites were supplemented by diaspora Balts arriving from Canada to take up positions as the Gauleiters of the new NATO occupiers.  The result of their mis-rule has been an economic and demographic catastrophe.  To deflect blame from themselves, the Baltic elites, on a routine basis, claim their own victimhood and demand money — LOTS OF MONEY — from the Russian Federation, the successor state to the Soviet Union.

Ostap Bender Has the Solution

In his response to the latest “pretensions” of the Baltic politicians, Russian Deputy Prime Minister Rogozin was forced to resort to Russian literature, to find the correct allusion.

Ostap demands compensation for his own losses.

Recall how in the Russian literary classic “The Twelve Chairs”, by Ilf and Petrov, the main character, the thief Ostap Bender, is presented by a street urchin with a demand for payment above and beyond the ruble that he promised.  Cuffing the urchin on the head, Bender exclaims:  “You’ll get the ears of a dead ass – you Defective!”  Which is what Rogozin, in his Twitter account, quoted to the Baltic leaders.

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12 Responses to Rogozin to Balts: Take These Donkey Ears – Please!

  1. Lyttenburgh says:


  2. Jen says:

    Another thing too is that these Baltic chihuahua nations want to feel important but don’t have anything that would put them on the international stage and make other nations sit up and take notice. By continually flogging the “Soviet occupation” pony, they make themselves heard. Otherwise everyone would ignore them.

    Their latest stunt is to demand that a fence (financed by the EU or the IMF of course) be built along their borders with Russia because they fear a possible invasion from the little green men in their tanks.


    • Lyttenburgh says:

      On an unrelated stuff, Yours Truly, when was a kid, had nearly all of these toy combat vehilcel in his collection. I lacked completely the middle row though – tanks and AA gun. Soviet Toys were so Stronk and Brutal, that were made from steel and could be used as a weapon and/or the ultimate argument in any “war-game” you’ve been playing with your friends.

      Except of KAMaZ truck and GAZ jeep on this picture – they came from a different, “collectors” line of toys, meticulously correct to the details and were intended to be more “exhibits to be looked at” than “toys to be played with”. Not that it would stop us..


  3. Pavlo Svolochenko says:

    ‘“You’ll get the ears of a dead ass – you Defective!”’

    Didn’t Putin use that line back in the mid 2000s when the Latvian government was trying to claim some podunk village along the state border?


    • yalensis says:

      Exactly! In May of 2005 there was a territorial dispute between Russia and Latvia, concerning the Pytalovo region of Pskovsk:

      Apparently Latvia demanded to re-draw the border, so that they get Pytalovo. Putin replied with public jest: “«От мертвого осла уши им, а не Пыталовский район».
      “They will receive the ears of a dead ass, and not the Pytalovo region.” Putin did not use the word “defective”, though. Putin is nicer person than Rogozin. Rogozin added that word, from the original source!


  4. Cortes says:

    The Self Righteous Balt Brothers could use a counterclaim or two from Jews, Belorussians and others who met their cuddlesome Police Battalions during WWII.


    • yalensis says:

      Yes, that could be part of the counter-lawsuit.
      The Jews and Romani who were killed by the Baltic Brigades in WWII and had their property seized, were Soviet citizens.
      Therefore, Russia, as the successor nation to the USSR, can claim compensation for those lives and property. Arguing that the current Baltic governments are both spiritual and legal descendants of the Nazi collaborators. Like these guys, the Latvian Waffen SS Legion:

      Here is the wiki entry on the Latvian Holocaust:

      The Nazis simply could not have gotten the job done without the collaboration of their Baltic “associates”. Who are now considered, literally, the legal precursors to the current governments. Therefore, by definition, I believe, the current governments are liable, according to the Nuremburg Court rulings, for the loss of those lives and property.

      Current Baltic governments would be on much stronger legal ground, IMHO, if they just pursued the same course as Belarus: i.e., claimed themselves as independent republics resulting from the break-up of the Soviet Union. By staying within the Soviet line of history, they could consider themselves to be among the “Victor Nations” from WWII. Instead, out of emotional stubbornness, they place themselves among the “Loser Nations”. But by so doing, make themselves vulnerable to claims of compensation from the actual victims.


  5. Eric says:

    I’d like to see if any of you actually experienced living in a country occupied by the soviets. I’m assuming all of you total idiots grew up and lived comfortable lives somewhere far from all of the problems the soviets were causing, formulating all of your arguments from things you read online, in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if none of you actually got any first hand evidence about how ‘nice’ it was living in these states at the time. Was it ‘nice’ for the farmers working extreme hours, giving all their crops and profits to the government, left with just enough to scrape by living? Or the government officials and past soldiers of these countries sent to Siberia and worked to death in the gulag? My whole family and most of my current family friends lived in different countries occupied by the USSR, and I’ve heard first hand accounts of the conditions there. If any of you can say the same, I’d be more than happy to take your arguments seriously, but as it stands every last one of you looks like a bunch of ignorant fools with a boner for Russia and no real facts to back what you are saying.

    Liked by 1 person

    • yalensis says:

      Dear Eric:
      Please be more specific.
      Just spoutin’ emotion-dripping propaganda memes and vague generalities don’t really cut it round these here parts.


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