Extry! Extry! Elton John Prank Transcript

Breaking News!

It is 2:10 AM in Moscow time, and we now have the transcript of what those two rascals did to Elton John.

Here is the English translation of those segments of the audiotape transcript, as printed in KP.  Note that I am translating from Russian to English, but the Russian was originally translated from the English-language conversation (which I don’t have); therefore I am translating back to English third-hand, with the caveat that my English rendering may not match the original English words spoken, and so…. oh, never mind….

Dramatis Personae:

  • Vovan (=Vladimir Kuznetsov) playing the role of Putin
  • Leksus (=Alexei Stol’arov), pretending to be Dmitry Peskov, Putin’s Press Secretary and interpretor for the purposes of the telephone conversation.
  • Sir Elton John, English pop singer and Knight


Vovan:  Hello, Sir Elton!  I highly value your contribution to musical culture, and your struggle for human rights.

Elton:  It is a great privilege for me to communicate with you.  Both the fact that you phoned me.  And the fact that I am able to speak with one of the most influential men in the world.

Vovan:  I was told that you wanted to discuss certain important problems of Russian life?

Elton:  I am not a politician.  I am a humanist, and I am prepared to sit down with you, face to face, in order to discuss important problems, and to solve them.

Vovan:  And yet, at the same time, recently, you visited Ukraine, and visited with Mr. Poroshenko.  And this was a political meeting.

Elton:  This was not a political event.  I went to Ukraine in order to talk about the LGBT community in Ukraine.  And also about the fact, that Ukraine has a weak economy, and hence it is necessary to attract gays to help develop (the economy).  And also to talk about the basic rights of gays.

Vovan:  I am very receptive to your words.   And yet Mr. Poroshenko used the meeting in question to score political points.

Elton:  I am sorry that you took this (meeting) as a political event.  Since it had nothing to do with politics.  Moreoever, I love Russia very much.  I have loved Russia since 1979, the time of my first visit there.  And whatever happened with Poroshenko, that’s his problem, and I shouldn’t be connected with that.

[The conversation then continued with the fake “Putin” designating a time to meet with Elton.]

Elton:  This is going to be fantastic!  I can’t wait to meet you.  Our meeting will make the world a better place.  I want to go to Russia, not in order to create problems (for you), but in order to make the world a better place.  And in order to discuss vital issues.  Because the idea of “Russia” is connected in my mind only with good things.  Therefore I wish to (help) resolve humanitarian problems, if at all I am able.

I thank you for giving me some of your time, that you found time for me in your busy schedule.  This phone call made my day!  Thank you again, this was a remarkable moment in my life.


yalensis comment:  This is just sad….

Practical jokes are mean.

This entry was posted in Breaking News, Celebrity Gossip, Human Dignity and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Extry! Extry! Elton John Prank Transcript

  1. Jen says:

    It may be a mean practical joke but Elton John is as much at fault for not taking the time to find out how Russian politics works and how he should contact Vladimir Putin. At least Pamela Anderson wrote an open letter addressed to Putin stating her concerns about a whaling ship travelling through Russian waters to Japan. Even though she didn’t meet him, she at least got an audience with Sergei Donskoy (natural resources and environment minister) in Vladivostok.


    • yalensis says:

      That’s true. Again, it goes to your point of Elton being (1) vain and (2) not too bright. I mean, he has a different type of intelligence, the type that can intuit music and knock off great tunes. But when it comes to politics… An ordinary person would have been suspicious that a world leader is phoning them right there in the recording studio.
      If it was me, I think I would have asked him for some kind of proof that he really was Putin. Although it’s not like he could give a passcode, or something like that. Also, these pranksters are really good, from what I here. They are not your average April Fool type retards.


    • yalensis says:

      P.S. – there was a repeat and follow-up to the story in LifeNews.
      LifeNews also includes some more Elton John dialogue that wasn’t in the KP piece:

      After admitting that he loves Russia since 1979, Elton qualifies this with his misgivings about the plight of the LGBT community there.
      “The main problem that I see [for Russian gays] is (threat of) violence, and the absence of personal security. I would like to meet with you (=Putin) face to face, because it is so much easier that way to discuss these problems. Let’s pick a day for our meeting…” (etc.)

      More followup is that both Putin and Peskov were “unamused” by the prank . Peskov (who is Putin’s press secretary) commented that “telephone hooligans” should not behave that way with a “famous and beloved artist”, as he characterized Elton John.
      Peskov asked the pranksters to apologize to the singer.
      “I would advise them to convey their apologies,” Peskov said at his press conference. “Elton John is a respected and popular artist. It wasn’t right to play him like that.”
      When asked if the pranksters also owed an apology to Peskov himself (whom one of them portrayed in the prank), Peskov demurred: “I like to have as little attention as possible directed at my modest persona.”


    • yalensis says:

      P.P.S. – why am I even translating this from Russian – how ludicrous is that??
      This piece has embedded RT video, people can listen to the conversation in the original English!


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